My Bad

Editor's note: The post below titled "We Can't Legally Ask You to [Lose Weight]" belongs to Lucy. User error, sorry for the confusion! If you need some time to recover from that deception, watch this short instructional video: How To Fold a Fitted Sheet. Why didn't I have this in college?

(OK sorry to go off topic. I'll shut up now.)

" To Err is Human, To Forgive is Divine"

I'm sorry, cute monkey.  I swear I didn't mean to let you down.  

After evaluating my goals, objectives, performance over the last week, I must admit:  this was the work of an average student.  Perhaps it was the stress of living with a man consumed with his Kempo test, buying a new car, the next day buying new windows for our house, my job changing etc.  Perhaps the Maui trip just does not seem close enough yet.  Whatever the reasons, I have to admit that my dedication to the Maui Challenge was lacking in many areas.  

I didn't have any problems with the exercise portion of it.  It's amazing what an extra day at the gym per week can do for you.  I did lose one pound (I checked two days in a row so it must be true).  I was very good about cutting back on what I ate.

But damn you, Antoine deVine!!  I just could not give up the alcohol this week.  We started out with a week of beautiful weather which just cries out for a beer, doesn't it?  So Sean suggested that I not give it up all together, but just to have a small glass of beer per evening.  This was the compromise which was fine until later in the week when the stress kicked in and I felt that if the wine bottle was open, I might as well finish it. 

I am forgiving myself for the above digressions and moving on to next week.  After all, we can just do the best we can in life and alas, in the Maui Challenge as well.

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes....A report from the field

I received a report from Patty letting me know her progress on the Maui Challenge but intimidated by the world of blogging.  With her permission, I will blog on her behalf.

Patty has valiantly abstained from chardonnay for an entire week.  This far exceeds her goal which was to limit herself to just one glass of wine on weeknights.  Nice job Patty!!  In addition, she plans to give up another "ch" for this week; either chips or chocolate.  She asked for my advice on which one to give up and I told her to go for her true weakness which is of course chips. Ever the trooper, she emailed back in I think less than a second and agreed.  She promises to update us on her exercise progress as well.   

Let's hope she doesn't decide to give up CHristie!!

We Can't Legally Ask You to [Lose Weight]

So I guess it's my turn to challenge myself! You guys down yonder should understand this is particularly tough for us Portlanders right now because Burgerville just came out with their fresh strawberry milkshakes! (The humanity!) 

I'm definitely a fair weather "excerciser." In winter all I want to do is burrow under a blanket on the couch and eat comfort food. This is something I need to work on long-term, but in the meantime I look in the mirror and think "I have to get into a swimsuit in 7 weeks?! Aack!" 

Though I was able to lose the baby weight, I've been eating like it's going out of style ever since. I'm definitely "pushing maximum density" again now, so it's time to take action. 

My plan is to:

• Eat (a lot) less sugar
  
• Reduce my portion sizes
  
• Exercise every chance I get

(So basically, it's what I should be doing on a daily basis, anyway.) The usual excuse for me is "I don't have time to exercise," so I took advantage and signed up for a yoga class at work that I can take during my lunch break. Hopefully, that will help "TIIIGHTEN" things up a little ;-)

See you all on the beach!

The Maui Challenge according to Benjamin Button

Ironically, I come into the Maui Challenge in about as good a shape as I have been in since our Shorinji Kempo training camp last fall (see picture. Note: person in picture may or may not represent actual poster). My latest challenge began about a month ago when Sean and I began training extra hard for our 3rd degree black belt test, meaning we have been living and breathing kempo for the last few weeks. Our test is coming up at the beginning of May, which means that after that point I will have no real reason to continue exercising or trying to improve myself. I mean I’m already there, right? Isn’t that how this stuff works?

That being said, out of respect and fairness for all of those who have come into this challenge later than I have (and possibly due to my inherent laziness), I will slowly work myself back out of shape until we get to Maui. Hopefully not regressing completely to Thanksgiving/Christmas, soft and cuddly, cookie monster form. Not helping my situation is a minor surgical procedure on my leg in mid-May that will keep me out of the strenuous exercise loop for three or four weeks.

Keep in mind when we arrive in Maui, however, that things may look slightly different than you are used to. Due to the high moisture content in the air and the magnifying effect of the suspended water molecules, people in Maui may appear larger than they actually are. I am not sure how this will affect muscle definition and tone, but there may be a slight dulling or cheesecloth-like effect that blurs or distorts my rippling abs and lats (or, I may just be rainbow colored). I hope I am wrong. In any event, if you don’t recognize me from the picture above, just look for the whitest guy there.

So the quest begins. Already, I am discovering an international band of culprits and suspects. From France we must beware of Antoine deVine. His specialty is causing pursuers to lose focus and forget about the job at hand. From Italy, the beautiful Sophia Dolces. She can easily cause one to lose the taste for the quest. From England come the nefarious Meels brothers, Albert and Bernard. These twins often are found to be the central culprit in these mysteries. To tell them apart I simply refer to them as A-Twin and B-Twin. At the head of the list, may be the famous Chinese mastermind E. Ting. Ting is devious. He looks innocent, but can be devastating. He has been known to derail many a quest.

However, I at least know that I am not alone. I know that if I get stuck I can always rely on my Ex-partner Cesar Sizemore. He has often been the key to getting the results I look for.

So, it should be pretty easy. Avoid the bad guys and turn to the good guys if I have to. I must avoid E. Ting, deVine and Dolces. And especially B-twin Meels. If I can avoid them I may succeed. If not I may need to rely on my Ex C. Sizemore.

Time will tell!

Ima Ready

Today's the day. The Maui Challenge officially begins. My goal is to look like as good as this guy does in a pair of shorts.

What is the deal with the left side of his neck being larger than the right side?

As for my workout regimen, I am working out 3-4 days per week. It will consist of practicing my Shorinji Kempo, "working" the heavy bag, sit ups and push ups with my "Perfect Pushup" ($19.99 at Target).

My ultimate goal is to not feel embarassed when I remove my shirt. I will settle for not being laughed at.

Good luck everyone. Be sure to stretch out prior to exercising and drink plenty of beer, er I mean water.

Let the challenge begin!

Initial Entry - Elementary dear Watson

Hmmmm! What is a Maui Challenge? What does it mean? How does one solve or succeed at a Maui Challenge?

I like mysteries and I like numbers. This may contain both!! As I explore this intricate conundrum I am intrigued. As a detective I an usually called upon to find something that is lost. Now I am being called upon to find something that I must lose!! Veerry Interesting!

I seem to be called by integers and two riddles...... And, the only clues I have is cubed, cubed and prime! And the riddles are... "I am not in your arms and I am not in your legs, because I m not in your limbs" and ..."Go find what is lost, but to find it you must lose it" What can it all mean? Somehow, if I can only reach the solution, I feel I will have succeeded at the Maui Challenge. Is it a real number? Is it attainable? Has it been missing for years? Only time (8 weeks) will tell.

Preparing myself for training

So, perhaps you are wondering, "What is the Maui Challenge?"  I was inspired at my gym where they have a 6 week challenge and you can pay to join a group or pay even more to have a personal trainer.  I thought that would be really cool except for the whole paying part.  Then it occurred to me that I will be traveling to the tropics with 10 other people and we will be hanging out primarily in beach wear, swimsuits, and PJs.  So what better time to start your own 6 week challenge.  A few of you were interested and I decided to present my idea to Jack and Patty in person when we visited last week.  I thought this idea needed to be presented in person in order to be persuasive.  I did not think at all that Patty would like, no embrace, this idea.  She thought it should be expanded to 8 weeks and promptly asked for assistance in planning ideas for exercise, diet, etc.  You go girl!!  

My goals are as follows:

1.  Lose some weight

2.  Gain strength and endurance

3.  Curb bad habits

My method is as follows:

1.  4 times per week at gym; more if time allows

2.  15 minutes of core work, stretching, lunges, whatever at some point during each day

3.  Alcohol allowed once per calendar week

4.  Being more aware of posture, opportunities to stretch during the day while working

5.  Reducing stress by staying on task and not running late.  This will be the toughest one for me.  

If you'd like to share your Maui Challenge goals/methods/goofy pictures with us, please feel free to post.  Research shows that if you have others involved in your fitness routine, you are more likely to succeed.  So share away, s'il vous plait...

Age is creeping up on me like a fogbank rolling in on a spring day. I've always been into fitness, health, trying to look my best, etc. But, damn you age, you make it difficult for me!! Suddenly, my thin side view is morphing into thickness; formerly toned muscles take more time to achieve their tonicity. Each sip of wine or taste of cheese seems to be deposited directly onto my waistline.

Then I picture myself at the beach in Maui and I have nightmarish visions such as the one posted above. Whereas I remember a more glamorous, athletic version of myself that must be currently buried underneath the aforementioned wine and cheese.